Miami Heat Championship Spells Doom

So yesterday was V-H Day (victory for the Heat), which means it was also V-D Day—no, I’m not talking about venereal disease, I’m talking about the victory of doom.

Those black Heat (not talking race here), with their black uniforms and their triumvirate of evil, and the fruition of the diabolical Pat Riley’s diabolical plan—let’s not forget, Celtics fans, that this is a LAKER who fashioned this wretched Cerberus of South Beach. There’s a ton of irony there, and I hope it’s not lost on you.

Life involves certain “days of dread”—the death of loved ones, Obama being elected (sorry, libs), Obama being re-elected (sorry again). LeBron finally winning a title, and this Miami Heat team winning a title, was/is one of those days.

Perhaps worse than that, though, is that—and I’m having trouble even admitting this to myself—I’m actually started to … ohmygosh, I can’t believe it … have some sort of … sympathetic feelings toward LeBron.

Oh gosh, I can’t take this.

I’m being serious. I think I’ll never have any positive feelings for DWade (dirty louse) or for RuPaul, I mean, Bosh, but LeBron … I don’t know; I’m not becoming a fan, per se—I’m NEVER jumping on any LeBron or Heat bandwagon—and I still believe he’s got quite a bit of growing up to do (though he’s done some already), but I think I’m developing … gosh, this is how Dr. Jekyll must have felt right before his transformation … a grudging respect for LeBron.

I went through something similar with Jordan after his career. I couldn’t stand that guy, his smugness and how the refs (read: Stern) let him get away with so much, but looking back on his career, I can’t deny his awesome level of play.

Same with LeBron. “King” James? Sorry, but that’s a Bible translation. And as Dirty Harry said, “You’re a legend in your own mind.” Anointing himself king and messiah and all that before he ever even donned an NBA uniform, surrounding himself with the consummate bunch of yes-men—I absolutely LOATHE all of that. Talk about an entitled, spoiled, pampered prima donna.

Except he’s not selfish on the court. Not now, anyway. And of course, I don’t want players to be selfish, yet I feel like, with LeBron’s slow but nonetheless evident maturing, I’m losing something important, something crucial to my well-being: a sports figure to loathe with every fiber of my being. The good news, though, is that I still have that villain in DWade, and I still refuse to go so far as to root for LeBron (unless he ends up a Celtic some day).

But gosh, this is killing me. As I said, I want players to be unselfish, and as a Christian I don’t want to hold someone’s mistakes, someone’s past, against them, but I’m losing my evil binky. I’m like Player X trying in vain to draw an open-court charge on LeBron—I’m being steamrolled by his basketball prowess, and I don’t want to be, and I hate it, and I’m shouting at the officials to give me a bleepin’ call (like Derek Fisher must have felt last night) … but I can’t help it.

Somebody hold me.

As an interesting side note, I was just looking through the dictionary, checking the spelling of “prima donna,” when I came across this:

primal scream therapyn (1971) : psychotherapy in which the patient recalls and reenacts a particularly disturbing past experience usu. occurring early in life and expresses normally repressed anger or frustration esp. through spontaneous and unrestrained screams, hysteria, or violence — called also primal therapy
So that explains Bosh.

Website Puts Million-Dollar Bounty on Tebow

University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow sp...

Tim Tebow is saving himself for marriage, and if you don’t like it, oh well. … (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This happened a couple weeks ago, but I hadn’t heard anything about it until now:

A raunchy website that facilitates extramarital affairs has announced it will award one-million dollars to any person who can prove that New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow has engaged in a sexual relationship.

Ridiculous. Another illustration of how vicious and slimy our society has become. Keep the faith, Tim.

To read more about this story, click here.

Manning Picks Broncos

Denver Broncos logo

Denver has its man. ... (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It looks like Tebow Mania in Denver will soon come to an end. Free-agent quarterback Peyton Manning has decided to join the Broncos, who have said that they’ll now trade last year’s starting QB, Tim Tebow.

I like this deal; I think it’s good for everyone involved. The Broncos made it to the AFC semifinals last season without a true QB, so if Manning is anywhere close to his preinjury form, I expect to see the Broncos battling for a Super Bowl spot this season. And even though Manning has thus far spent his whole career with the Colts, rivals to my Patriots, I can’t help liking the guy for his goofiness and down-to-earth demeanor. I also like Tebow, and his teammates and Denver fans seemed to really like him too, but I think the Broncos went as far as they were ever going to go with Tebow at the helm. Hopefully Tebow gets traded to the Jacksonville Jaguars, which would give Tebow the opportunity to play in front of his rabid Florida fanbase (he played his college ball for the Gators), and give the Jags—at last—a legitimate fan attraction.

Best of luck to everyone involved. To read more, click here.

D’Antoni Out as Knicks Coach

Mike D'Antoni coaching the New York Knicks in ...

Mike D'Antoni. ... Image via Wikipedia

Per Sports Illustrated’s Sam Amick via Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski:

Mike D’Antoni has resigned as head coach of the New York Knicks, sources confirmed to D’Antoni and team owner James Dolan mutually agreed to end the coach’s three-year run after two losing seasons and a current 18-24 record.

Assistant coach Mike Woodson will take over immediately.

Looks like D’Antoni is the first casualty of Carmelo Anthony’s selfish play—well, the first individual; the team has already suffered since Melo returned from injury and squashed all the momentum the Knicks built during the emergence of Jeremy Lin. Nice job, Melo.

Ainge: Rondo Not Going Anywhere

Rajon Rondo, the 21st pick of the Phoenix Suns

Staying put? ... Image via Wikipedia

Boston Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo has been the subject of numerous trade rumors since the beginning of training camp, despite general manager Danny Ainge repeatedly saying he’s not actively shopping Rondo. Of course, there’s a difference between “actively shopping” and “willing to listen to offers,” and Celtics fans and other NBA observers know that Ainge likes to play word games and pull off big surprise deals. Nonetheless, Ainge has now given us what can probably be considered the closest thing possible (for him) to an iron-clad statement about Rondo’s trade status. From an article on

Before [Monday night’s] game against the Clippers, Boston general manager Danny Ainge placed a cork in the faucet currently spewing trade rumors about his team’s best player, telling’s A. Sherrod Blakely that the star point guard will stay put. “I don’t know how many times I have to say it. Rondo’s not being traded,” he said.

Well, there you go. I wouldn’t bet the farm on anything Ainge says, but this time, at this point in the story, I’m inclined to believe him, so it looks like the Celtics are going to finish out their season with their Core 4 intact and possibly, in a much more minor deal, add a big to the mix to help them in their push for the postseason.

For more great Celtics coverage, visit and

Will Tebow No Longer Be Manning Broncos’ Ship?

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Manning. ... Image via Wikipedia

Heisman Trophy Winner , before he is about to ...

Tebow. ... Image via Wikipedia

So the Tim Tebow saga continues, but not in the way many envisioned: Instead of listening to fans and pundits debate whether Tebow should the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos, we’re all waiting to see if former Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning signs with Team Tebow—and if he does, the Broncos will send Tebow packing.

Most people, I think, wouldn’t think twice about taking Manning over Tebow, even with Manning coming off multiple major surgeries and no one sure how he’ll perform. He’s nonetheless a Hall of Famer in waiting, and odds are that’s a lot farther than Tebow will ever get as a QB.

As the saying goes, however, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and there are few enough good quarterbacks in the NFL that some team (maybe multiple teams) will be standing by ready to bring Tebow on board. The chatter around my office—which includes a diehard Broncos fan who’s torn about potentially losing Tebow—is that the young lefty will end up in Jacksonville, which is starving for a selling point to offer its fans. I like Tebow, and wish him the best; I also (despite being a Patriots fan) like Manning, and wish him the best. Of course, Manning could still choose Arizona, or Miami, or perhaps a dark horse few people are figuring on. Anyway, here are some links to some more information regarding the ongoing Manning-Tebow sagas:

Report: Broncos could trade Tebow

Peyton Manning to Broncos: Denver Would Be Foolish to Trade Tim Tebow

Broncos Nation forgetting its savior

Dwight Howard Doesn’t Get It

Washington Wizards v/s Orlando Magic February ...

He's a big dude, with a big problem. ... Image via Wikipedia

With the NBA trade deadline fast approaching (Thursday, March 15), perhaps the biggest question around the league is: Will Orlando trade Dwight Howard? The interest in Howard’s situation, though perhaps overhyped, is nonetheless valid, since he’s one of only a tiny handful of legitimate centers in the league, and capable of a 20-point, 20-rebound game any time he steps on the court. Orlando’s decision to trade or keep him, however, is overshadowing one crucial aspect of Howard’s situation: The thing he is seeking is the thing he already has, and he doesn’t want what he already has.

Howard has made it clear that he wants to be on a team where he’s “the man.” He doesn’t want to be traded to Chicago, because reigning MVP Derrick Rose would steal some of his thunder, and no way is he going to play for the Lakers as long as Kobe Bryant is still around. The New Jersey Nets really want Howard, as do the Dallas Mavericks, and both teams are particularly interested in pairing him with All-Star point guard Deron Williams … but Williams’ presence would keep Howard from being “the man.”

Gosh, the situation Howard is seeking sounds an awful lot like …. hmmm, his current setup in Orlando. With no other big names or All-Stars on the Magic roster, Howard is definitely “the man” in Orlando—but that’s just the problem: the Magic are never going to win the title with just one really good player, yet Howard doesn’t want to play with other big names … but he already has that situation in Orlando yet doesn’t want to play there anymore, because they won’t “surround him with the necessary talent.” Huh?

That’s right; Dwight’s upset with the Magic for not surrounding him with the talent required to win a title, yet he doesn’t want to share the spotlight with anyone, even though that’s what it would take for him to ever win a title. In other words, he wants to be on a team that’s good enough to win a championship but has no other notable names besides his own.

Sorry, Dwight, that’s not gonna happen, because there is no such team. Perhaps you disagree; perhaps you look at last year’s title winner, the Mavericks, and are saying to yourself, “They won with just Dirk! That’s what I’m talking about. That’s what I want!” If that’s the case, you’re wrong; the Mavs didn’t win with “just Dirk.” Jason Terry made quite a name for himself in last season’s Finals, as did J.J. Barea and Tyson Chandler, and without those three, Dirk doesn’t win a title. Even though none of those three is a superstar, each of them came through in the clutch and made headlines—which is to say, they made it so Dirk didn’t get all the attention. That’s the way it’s always going to be with championship teams, and that’s the way it should be. Dwight Howard is looking for the impossible, and unless he (not his employer or teammates) changes, he’ll continue to be unhappy.

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